Monday, August 8, 2011

Mom Fail: Sleep Training

Sleep training is the bane of my existence...
It is awful
and I truly fucked myself over by not doing it earlier.
excuse my language peeps.

I read every sleep training book out there...believe me. I knew what I needed to do. I kept telling myself that I would start next week...then it was the next month..or when we got back from vacation.

But I am now with a 9 month old baby, who has sporadic/hair-pulling/tears-inducing sleep habits:
I rock her to sleep - for both naps and nighttime
I feed her a bottle in the middle of the night if she wakes up
I will insert her pacifier multiple times if she loses it
If she cries and can't calm down, I will pick her up out of her crib and rock her

which has led to this...

AND if it couldn't get any more stress-inducing...

..she will now stand in her crib, throw her pacis on the floor, and shriek.
I know she's proud of her new standing abilities..but good lord child just lay down!

So i'm at a wall. I know she can sleep through the night, because she has it done many times. I just don't know how to improve her sleep habits - I feel that i've taken so many wrong turns that it will be difficult to get back on the right path.

Any suggestions would be wonderful.


Sarah said...

Try looking at moms on call. I know it is for newborns but might give some tips for older children too. Sorry you are having a tough time :( I know it is hard hearing the cries but sometimes just letting them cry it out is the best thing.

Cajun Cowgirl said...

First off--don't beat yourself up! We do this "mom" thing as best as we can! That's all we can do!

I personally wouldn't be opposed to some cry it out at this point. We did some with W (before 9 months) but I think it's helpful. Of course other moms will disagree but there's that whole "you know what's right for your baby."

I think the good news is that you aren't totally fucked! Do your research and talk to a bunch of mommas, then choose what you think will work. Stick to it but be flexible if you need to.

Finally, invest in some good wine. Or cheap wine. :) You might need a lot! :)

Jessica Hudson said...

I'm guilty of the pacifier thing too at times, but crying it out really has worked best for us. It's so brutal but works quickly and helps them learn to put themselves to sleep. Once you lay her down in her bed wide awake and she just goes to sleep, it's all worth it!

KLaw said...

Oh girl, I was there for YEAR! I know all too well. The only t hing I can suggest is the good old CIO method. Some may disagree, but that was literally the only thing we could do to get S to stop that shit. And he's no worse for the wear.

Happiness Is... said...

Hey! I just found you from AP, and I have a 6 month old. I so feel your pain, girl. He was in our room until 3 weeks ago (yeah, I know - what everyone tells you NOT to do). We had a monster who would only sleep in his newborn rocker, swaddled, with a paci and Sleep Sheep. High maintenance much? Then a friend took the plunge and did Ferber, swore by it and so then I did, too. I wrote a long post about it a few weeks ago if you want to check it out. I highly recommend it. Thatcher is now happily sleeping in his crib, no swaddle, no paci and no Sleep Sheep AND minimal fussing to go down. It has worked wonders for us. Hang in there and don't beat yourself up too much - being a mom is H.A.R.D.

Legallyblondemel said...

Hey, I'm here from ILYMTC - nice to "meet" you!

I can so empathize. I waited a long time to sleep train my now toddler - around 6 months, in his case, which for him was well past when he needed it. The encouraging thing is, better late than never with this stuff; I now have a (please don't jinx myself by saying this) excellent napper/nighttime sleeper, but it took months of work. I'm convinced with some of them it just takes longer than others.

Like with anything involving parenting, I don't think there's one right answer here . . . I fiddled with a few theories before stumbling on the Weissbluth book cry-it-out method, which worked the best for us, though my kid was never schedule-able for naps like that or other books suggested until very recently.

Good luck!

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